January 2011
5 posts
4 tags
The Best Cover Band Name Ever Thought Up
ALERT: Anyone named Stefan, who is even a half-way decent singer, drop what you are doing right now and start a cover band called Glorious Stefan.
5 tags
I learned two things about myself that morning: 1) I like to think about what it would be like inside a dinosaur’s heart. 2) I dislike using the word “diary” because it sounds too much like “diarrhea”.
8 tags
12 STEPS TO UNNERDIFY MYSELF
1) Get LASIK.
2) Wear jeans and a cowboy hat because I’m going to a job that requires them.
3) Exert enough mental will over my physical self to fix any problems with my body.
4) Tell everyone I did it through diet and exercise.
5) Refer to all sciences as “the gay science”.
6) When someone explains that Nietzsche’s “gay science” was actually poetry,...
3 tags
3 tags
Modeling my journey of self-discovery after Lewis and Clark. I’m going to ask Indians and Canadian fur trappers if they know who I am.