December 2011
2 posts
7 tags
5 tags
November 2011
2 posts
8 tags
19 tags
Twitter Dump
All these and more found here: http://twitter.com/apreacher
When people think of heavy drug use they think of the 1960s and 70s, yet it was the 2000s that saw Tony Danza get his own talk show.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Next time try picking some less uptight friends.
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up...
October 2011
7 posts
5 tags
4 tags
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2 tags
“I hate flying into JFK!”
– - Oswald’s Bullet
15 tags
Twitter Dump
You can follow me @apreacher or you can follow me home from work, see where I live, maybe wait for me to take out the trash and root through my dumpster for clues into what really makes me tick. The choice is yours!
I blew it with the suicide hotline girl. Told her I was afraid I was going to commit suicide, she called me a commitment-phobe and hung up.
Kinda bummed, just found out all my...
4 tags
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August 2011
1 post
3 tags
“Fuck this shit!”
– - The director of “2 Girls 1 Cup”
June 2011
1 post
16 tags
Twitter Dump
If you don’t follow me on twitter, screw you, also here’s some highlights from the last 4 weeks.
4:20 am should be the 420 that meth addicts giggle about.
Sometimes I tell websites I “forgot” my password, it’s just nice to get an email every once and awhile.
4 hours into a Bonanza marathon. I’m beginning to think these Cartwrights don’t know how to...
May 2011
2 posts
3 tags
Dr. Seuss' Editor
We LOVE the character of Sam I Am! One small note… How about changing “ham” to “anchovies”? People like ham, they don’t like anchovies.
9 tags
April 2011
17 posts
1 tag
Sign Seinfeld is Having a Stroke
What’s the deal with airline food? It all tastes like nickels!
2 tags
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Calling any nipple superfluous exhibits a real lack of imagination.
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UNREBLOGGABLE
This post was cursed by a witch when it was just seven letters long. Villagers say one day it will be reblogged by someone “true of heart”. However, most people dismiss this as stupid villager talk.
12 tags
I Was Just on AOTS! Click Here to Watch. →
I’m the #1 video Around the Net. As a longtime fan of the show this really makes me happy. My thing starts around the 6min 50sec mark, but the other stuff is well worth watching as well. It’s an honor just to be mentioned in the same category as Tonetta.
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Everyone is talented at something. I, myself, have a flare for roadside emergencies.
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Sometimes I worry that my car is a Transformer with amnesia.
On an unrelated note I wrote this:
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In the midst of an existential crisis, realizing my life is predicated on outright lies and half-truths born of custom. April fools!
March 2011
1 post
2 tags
February 2011
1 post
1 tag
Writing the wrong date is always bittersweet. On the one hand I screwed up, on the other hand it’s the closest I get to time traveling.
January 2011
5 posts
4 tags
The Best Cover Band Name Ever Thought Up
ALERT: Anyone named Stefan, who is even a half-way decent singer, drop what you are doing right now and start a cover band called Glorious Stefan.
5 tags
I learned two things about myself that morning: 1) I like to think about what it would be like inside a dinosaur’s heart. 2) I dislike using the word “diary” because it sounds too much like “diarrhea”.
8 tags
12 STEPS TO UNNERDIFY MYSELF
1) Get LASIK.
2) Wear jeans and a cowboy hat because I’m going to a job that requires them.
3) Exert enough mental will over my physical self to fix any problems with my body.
4) Tell everyone I did it through diet and exercise.
5) Refer to all sciences as “the gay science”.
6) When someone explains that Nietzsche’s “gay science” was actually poetry,...
3 tags
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Modeling my journey of self-discovery after Lewis and Clark. I’m going to ask Indians and Canadian fur trappers if they know who I am.
October 2010
1 post
1 tag
Went to the park today and fed some stuck up ducks. There was a time in this country when somebody bought you dinner you were expected to put out.